What's Your Job in Real Life?

[1949threepence]

I wanted to sell computer parts, but then I lost my drive.

[1949threepence]

13 hours ago, Peckris 2 said:

I used to be a werewolf but I'm alright nooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww

I used to work at a soft drinks factory but got the sack because I couldn't concentrate and wasn't cordial to others. Then I tried being a velcro salesman but couldn't stick it. 

[Madness]

On 11/10/2018 at 5:54 PM, Madness said:

I'm a bona fide barnacle clinging to the crusty hull of a welfare society, taking a free ride but with no control.  

By the way, this really is my job.  It wasn't supposed to be a joke.  I really am a parasite living on welfare and my wife's income.  

Edited November 11, 2018 by Madness

[Paddy]

I used to be a Travel agent but I got the sack - I took too many holidays.

Before that I was a computer consultant - but they stopped talking to me.

[blakeyboy]

I was a doctor but I lost my patients.

 

I went for a job at the circus as the Human Projectile, but I wasn't the right calibre....

 

I eventually went mad, and ended up in hospital because I thought I was a gun.

I discharged myself.

[Madness]

I once worked in admin but had a nervous breakdown. 

[blakeyboy]

1 hour ago, Madness said:

By the way, this really is my job.  It wasn't supposed to be a joke.  I really am a parasite living on welfare and my wife's income.  

 

"I once worked in admin but had a nervous breakdown. "

 

 

Been there.   You earned a rest, you paid your taxes , so why worry?

Comedy and music were my crutches.

Now you should do the little personal projects you've been putting off for decades.

`You could dress in drag, and earn money singing in campsites to keep the midges and mosquitos away.

 

Get ready............

You could call yourself   'Citronella Fitzgerald'.....

 

[1949threepence]

Got a job at a winery and was very unfairly passed over for promotion - probably just sour grapes on my part. Then worked for a brewery where they also ignored me, which made me really bitter. Finally worked for a dairy where I did get promotion. Well the cream always rises to the top. Still a bread and butter job, but I milked them for all the money I could get. That was in 'Uddersfield by the way.

Edited November 11, 2018 by 1949threepence

[blakeyboy]

Oh Quality.

We should all start writing for Tim Vine.....

[Bronze & Copper Collector]

15 hours ago, Unwilling Numismatist said:

I wanted to be a porn star.

Every time I show up people say "what a cock"....

 

 

I wanted to be a porn star too,

Except I couldn't rise to the occasion....

[1949threepence]

7 hours ago, Bronze & Copper Collector said:

I wanted to be a porn star too,

Except I couldn't rise to the occasion....

But at least your acting wouldn't be stiff, even if the overall performance was a bit limp. So I doubt they'd be asking you to come again. 

 

 

 

 

[Madness]

I've decided to become a grave digger.  That way, when I die there will be someone to bury me.  

Edited November 12, 2018 by Madness

[Bronze & Copper Collector]

3 hours ago, 1949threepence said:

But at least your acting wouldn't be stiff, even if the overall performance was a bit limp. So I doubt they'd be asking you to come again. 

 

 

 

 

Excellent. .

I have truly received my comeuppance......

[blakeyboy]

9 hours ago, Madness said:

I've decided to become a grave digger.  That way, when I die there will be someone to bury me.  

Or at least you could fill in for someone...

 

 

I asked my mate   "Do you dig graves?"

And he said  "They're alright, I suppose..."

[Madness]

Grave digging gives me the opportunity to have many people under me.  

[Bronze & Copper Collector]

12 minutes ago, Madness said:

Grave digging gives me the opportunity to have many people under me.  

Many people are dying to have that position under you........

Must be some sort of plot.......

[blakeyboy]

I've decided to become a metric saxophone player and call myself  'Kilometres Davis"........

[blakeyboy]

Oh it's too early in the week for me--I mean trumpet player.......

[azda]

CNC machinist making parts for heart and lung machines in Munich, if any of you old farts are requiring an Op be sure to ask for the best machine 😏

[Peckris 2]

I became a grave digger but my boss told me to lighten up.

[craigy]

i work in the research and development of diesel and gasoline engines for a large motor manufacturer 

[PWA 1967]

I retired at 42 after having my own companies and moved to Spain.

Unfortunately i went beserk and now find myself on here all the time with a chronic illness 😮

Although it was all good fun at the time 😃

Edited November 13, 2018 by PWA 1967

[Pavel]

Web programmer...

[AardHawk]

IBM mainframe applications programmer. Retired & Grumpy.

[Peter]

To get back on topic.

My father used to be very condescending....After he died I realized he was just looking down on me.