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My next door neighbours have two huge gold chairs that they sit in over the holiday period, in their hideously decorated lounge, thinking they are the King and Queen of Christmas. God knows where they keep them the rest of the year - I think the whole thing's stupid, since I feel that people who live in crass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

What's the most popular Christmas wine? 'But I don't like Brussels sprouts!' What's green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet? A mistle-toad! Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? Because he had a low "elf" esteem! Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy! When is a boat just like snow? When it’s adrift! Who delivers presents to cats? Santa Paws! Why did the turkey cross the road? Because it was the chicken’s day off! What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues!

Eggs Benedict is a dish best served on the hubcap from a '57 Austin Cambridge ... because there's no plates like chrome for the Hollandaise

Change your gender. I cant see the state pensions people objecting now that the lady who said that there were only two biological types of human was found guilty.

Just thought it would be fun to have some Christmas jokes. I will start it off😏 What did Adam say the day before Christmas? "It's Christmas, Eve!" What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa Claus when she looked up in the sky? Looks like rain, dear! What did Cinderella say when her photos didn’t arrive on time? One day my prints will come

I can't see why opposing thoughts should be so problematic, yet it seems it was ever the case. Thrust and riposte are fundamental to not living in a reciprocating, back-slapping, echo-chamber. The whole point of not agreeing with everyone else is that alternative views can be espoused, taken on board and argued for or against. That's why open debate is so important. Anyone who frequented student unions in the 1970s will be fully aware of the way any dissenting ideas were shouted down by the left. I suspect nothing has changed given the tendency for youth to be left of centre.

Apparently there is a cheese shop in Nazareth, Pennsylvania called 'Cheeses of Nazareth'......