UPINSMOKE Posted December 17, 2019 Posted December 17, 2019 Just thought it would be fun to have some Christmas jokes. I will start it off😏 What did Adam say the day before Christmas? "It's Christmas, Eve!" What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa Claus when she looked up in the sky? Looks like rain, dear! What did Cinderella say when her photos didn’t arrive on time? One day my prints will come 4 Quote
blakeyboy Posted December 18, 2019 Posted December 18, 2019 Apparently there is a cheese shop in Nazareth, Pennsylvania called 'Cheeses of Nazareth'...... 2 Quote
Michael-Roo Posted December 18, 2019 Posted December 18, 2019 (edited) One for any fellow Seinfeld fans… Edited December 18, 2019 by Michael-Roo 2 Quote
bagerap Posted December 27, 2019 Posted December 27, 2019 Eggs Benedict is a dish best served on the hubcap from a '57 Austin Cambridge ... because there's no plates like chrome for the Hollandaise 4 Quote
blakeyboy Posted December 27, 2019 Posted December 27, 2019 My next door neighbours have two huge gold chairs that they sit in over the holiday period, in their hideously decorated lounge, thinking they are the King and Queen of Christmas. God knows where they keep them the rest of the year - I think the whole thing's stupid, since I feel that people who live in crass houses shouldn't stow thrones. 1 3 Quote
1949threepence Posted December 27, 2019 Posted December 27, 2019 What's the most popular Christmas wine? 'But I don't like Brussels sprouts!' What's green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet? A mistle-toad! Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? Because he had a low "elf" esteem! Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy! When is a boat just like snow? When it’s adrift! Who delivers presents to cats? Santa Paws! Why did the turkey cross the road? Because it was the chicken’s day off! What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues! 3 Quote
blakeyboy Posted December 27, 2019 Posted December 27, 2019 That's it Mike - hit 'em with all you've got!!!!! 1 Quote
blakeyboy Posted January 1, 2020 Posted January 1, 2020 At least my Mother in Law is out of hospital having swallowed the 1927 florin I had put in the mix bowl. I had told her that the Proof was in the Pudding, but i think she misunderstood.... 3 4 Quote
Sword Posted January 1, 2020 Posted January 1, 2020 The joke is on you when you realise that it was her pocket which swallowed the coin. 1 Quote
blakeyboy Posted January 1, 2020 Posted January 1, 2020 You've met her, then.... Counselling is available. 1 Quote
Paddy Posted January 2, 2020 Posted January 2, 2020 Belated for Christmas - came across this tidying up my photo files. (May have been posted here before - sorry if it has.) 1 2 Quote
Sword Posted January 2, 2020 Posted January 2, 2020 On 1/1/2020 at 2:44 PM, blakeyboy said: You've met her, then.... Counselling is available. Oh, she is a counsellor. That's nice. 1 Quote
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