Silly Indian call centres

[Rob]

Good news. They aren't that sharp.

Seem to be getting daily calls from someone purporting to be from BT requesting email contact detail about the internet connection, which we don't have. Gave them another daily spammer's contact details

info@kffln.com and Judith Carey if anyone can use them for wasting their time

[Chingford]

I hold the current  record indoors, 13 minutes talking about Window replacements to one of the spammers from 'Microsoft India' telling me my Computer has been compromised, being a Surveyor I even managed to include technical terms like fenestration and multi point locking into the conversation to add to the confusion their end.

Edited November 15, 2016 by Chingford
spelling

[PWA 1967]

I am very polite and tell them in a well spoken accent  to F%%% OFF .

[Nordle11]

I tell them 'just a minute he's right here, I'll get him for you', then leave the phone on the side and carry on with whatever I'm doing until they're gone.

[Rob]

31 minutes ago, Nordle11 said:

I tell them 'just a minute he's right here, I'll get him for you', then leave the phone on the side and carry on with whatever I'm doing until they're gone.

Ah, I do that when a caller asks me if I need any windows. I'll just go and check..........................

[azda]

I've seen this on YouTube, they basically try and help you hack your own machine and then tell you to give them money to unlock it, 1 guy actually locked their machine and then asked him for cash to unlock it

[1949threepence]

The ringer on my landline is permanently turned off, and only people I know have my mobile No. 

Therefore I don't get these crappy calls at all these days. 

  

[mrbadexample]

4 hours ago, Chingford said:

I hold the current  record indoors, 13 minutes talking about Window replacements to one of the spammers from 'Microsoft India' telling me my Computer has been compromised, being a Surveyor I even managed to include technical terms like fenestration and multi point locking into the conversation to add to the confusion their end.

If they call me I'd be more likely to use words like "defenestration".

Although these days I just answer (so it costs them money), then just leave the phone on the side and wander off, à la Nordle.

[Gary D]

My phone is constantly on answerphone, they get the call answered which I assume costs them and if it's important they will leave a message. Don't get many messages.

[Nick]

I have a call blocker phone which has resulted in a 99% reduction in cold calls.  The system automatically silently answers calls from unknown callers, asks them to identify themselves and press the hash key.  If they do so, the phone will ring and announce who is calling, allowing me to choose whether I let them through or not.  If they don't follow the instructions, the system drops the call.

[1949threepence]

2 hours ago, Nick said:

I have a call blocker phone which has resulted in a 99% reduction in cold calls.  The system automatically silently answers calls from unknown callers, asks them to identify themselves and press the hash key.  If they do so, the phone will ring and announce who is calling, allowing me to choose whether I let them through or not.  If they don't follow the instructions, the system drops the call.

Presumably you can programme the phone with known callers, so it knows who to let through?

[Nick]

1 hour ago, 1949threepence said:

Presumably you can programme the phone with known callers, so it knows who to let through?

Yes, you can.  It also allows a 'quiet period' where only VIP callers (designated in your address book) are allowed.  I have set this to be between 8pm and 8am.

Apart from one or two firmware glitches, which I'm sure they've now ironed out, I would thoroughly recommend it.  Understandably, it also requires caller id to be enabled.

Edit: Forgot about the annoyingly piercing LEDs on the bases that I had to blank out with gaffer tape.

Edited November 16, 2016 by Nick

[1949threepence]

3 hours ago, Nick said:

Yes, you can.  It also allows a 'quiet period' where only VIP callers (designated in your address book) are allowed.  I have set this to be between 8pm and 8am.

Apart from one or two firmware glitches, which I'm sure they've now ironed out, I would thoroughly recommend it.  Understandably, it also requires caller id to be enabled.

Edit: Forgot about the annoyingly piercing LEDs on the bases that I had to blank out with gaffer tape.

OK, thanks for that. Sounds good. 

[Rob]

I had a pleasant few minutes the other day discussing irony with Peter of India, who very politely informed me (half a dozen times), that he was not selling anything, but instead could he ask a few questions to pin down my lifestyle and buying habits in order to reduce the number of unwanted cold calls. After a fairly convoluted discussion and at the sixth time of asking, he also enquired whether I was going to answer any of his questions. My reply enabled him to close the case from his side.

Shame his name wasn't Clive, or there would have been a bit more mileage in it.

[Peckris]

This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say the HelpDesk employee was fired; however, he is currently suing
the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause." This is actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:

"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

".......Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"....... Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when
you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer."
 

[Gary D]

 I'll go get the box .

Edited August 19, 2017 by Gary D