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Madness

Stuff to Make Us Laugh

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On 2/3/2020 at 4:03 PM, Danelaw said:

A bit of a strange day today!

First I found a cap full of coins, then I got chased up the road with a bloke with a guitar

It wasn't Paul McCartney, was it?

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Apologies for the industrial language, but I do think it's otherwise funny and just about sums up facebook at times. 

facebook wanker.jpg

Edited by 1949threepence
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12 hours ago, 1949threepence said:

Apologies for the industrial language, but I do think it's otherwise funny and just about sums up facebook at times. 

facebook wanker.jpg

Can I recommend the book Zucked which tells just how much Facebook manipulates its users?

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All friends who used, five years ago, to try to browbeat me into joining Facebook no longer do ......!

 

Parties and functions that I don't hear about because it was only announced on Facebook are not a problem- when I'm invited face to face,

by email, or with a phonecall, I know that someone wants _me_ to be there, rather than just a crowd of acolytes.

 

Facebook is, most of the time, a circle of people, patting each other on the back, chanting "Aren't we wonderful"....

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2 hours ago, blakeyboy said:

All friends who used, five years ago, to try to browbeat me into joining Facebook no longer do ......!

 

Parties and functions that I don't hear about because it was only announced on Facebook are not a problem- when I'm invited face to face,

by email, or with a phonecall, I know that someone wants _me_ to be there, rather than just a crowd of acolytes.

 

Facebook is, most of the time, a circle of people, patting each other on the back, chanting "Aren't we wonderful"....

Self serving. Nobody ever says they are crap. The problem is they live in parallel universes, where the sun shines both on them and from them.

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12 hours ago, blakeyboy said:

All friends who used, five years ago, to try to browbeat me into joining Facebook no longer do ......!

 

Parties and functions that I don't hear about because it was only announced on Facebook are not a problem- when I'm invited face to face,

by email, or with a phonecall, I know that someone wants _me_ to be there, rather than just a crowd of acolytes.

 

Facebook is, most of the time, a circle of people, patting each other on the back, chanting "Aren't we wonderful"....

It's useful for the interest groups, for local (otherwise unpublicised) news, and in finding old friends you've not seen or otherwise heard of for many years. But much of the general day to day interaction is tedious beyond belief, unless you actually want to know the minutiae of other folks's lives, some of whom you barely know.  

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Facebook - where being 'Johnny, no mates' is a real bonus. :)

 

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4 hours ago, Rob said:

Facebook - where being 'Johnny, no mates' is a real bonus. :)

 

I didn't think you were on facebook ;)

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1 hour ago, 1949threepence said:

I didn't think you were on facebook ;)

I'm not. The attraction of steering clear and not being bombarded with vacuous trivia speaks for itself.

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A pirate walks into a bar. He's got the whole pirate look down. He's got the peg leg, the hook hand, an eyepatch and the hat all going on.

The bartender takes all of this in, impressed. There's just one odd thing and he just has to ask.

"So Mr. Pirate, your look is pretty cool. I gotta ask though, what's with the chocolate wrapper on your hat?"

The pirate replied, "Arrrrgh, I've a Bounty on me head!
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Some amusing road signs from The Sun:

1525208396_1-Copy.jpg.48932104892969b697d747da6428862f.jpg104511405_2-Copy.jpg.606a48d91ceb2d938b34e596098cc932.jpg1364893571_3-Copy.jpg.6950d0ac6f6cc0bc54b7d781845bb7d0.jpg1318507126_5-Copy.jpg.52dfdbcf4cb539f840adcc223534d6e6.jpg1403589966_6-Copy.jpg.f3822fdf508153a27b480601fe95471a.jpg

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This one from today's paper made me laugh:

 

Chloe 120220.jpg

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The inventor of tongue twisters was found guilty of fraud today. He is expected to get a tough sentence.

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My mate keeps saying "Cheer up, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water!"






















He means well.

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A politician visited a remote little rural village and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them. “We have two big needs,” said the village headman. “First, we have a hospital but no doctor." The politician whipped out his mobile, spoke for a while and then said: “I have sorted it out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?” “We have no mobile reception at all in our village.”

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18 hours ago, Danelaw said:

A politician visited a remote little rural village and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them. “We have two big needs,” said the village headman. “First, we have a hospital but no doctor." The politician whipped out his mobile, spoke for a while and then said: “I have sorted it out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?” “We have no mobile reception at all in our village.”

There will be no shortage of doctors if we start training man's best friend for the job.

1070250392_1-Copy-Copy.jpg.366c785f291410c1102af8daac702797.jpg

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Did you hear the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stayed awake all night pondering the existence of Dog?

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Like many of his novels, Charles Dickens’ A Tale Of Two Cities was actually first serialised in two local newspapers.

It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.

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That has been rapidly stolen.

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I don't like those Russian dolls...so full of themselves

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"Have you heard of Murphy's Law?" 

"No, what is it?"  

"If something can go wrong it will go wrong." 

"Right. Have you heard of Cole's Law?" 

"No, what is it?" 

"Thinly sliced cabbage with mayonnaise."

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Tragic accident at the Nestlé factory- a pallet of chocolate fell and crushed a bloke in the warehouse.

Every time the poor guy tried to get some help by shouting "The Milky Bars are on me",

everyone just cheered.....

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