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Madness

Stuff to Make Us Laugh

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I see what you did there. :)

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20 hours ago, bagerap said:

I've just told my suitcases that there's no chance of us going on holiday this year.

 

Any tips on how to deal with emotional baggage?

That's a complicated question - can you unpack it?

 

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You should try referring to them as 'the suitcases' instead of 'my suitcases'...maybe they're case sensitive....

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just wait until they find out they’re knock-offs🤭

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I've been following the storms by using the lightning map websites.

To be honest, they all rather seem a bit hit and miss....

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The little earwig was a keen footballer almost from the day he hatched. Despite his disadvantages and bullying he worked his way up to the school first team, where he was head-hunted to join his local professional team.

The manager struggled to find kit to fit him and had to have a special shirt made for him. Due to an error at the manufacturers, it had the number "0" on the back instead of the intended "20".

At his first match he was on the subs bench for the first half, but sent on early in the second with his team 2-0 down. Quickly his amazing ability to weave through the opposition defence proved decisive and he kept scoring! Soon the home fans were rejuvenated and as he slipped in his third to take the lead, you could hear them chanting:

"Earwig Oh! Earwig Oh! Earwig Oh!"

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And they won't bring back hanging...!

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There's a nudist convention in my town tomorrow.
I might go if I've got nothing on.
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A lorry load of Brillo pads was stolen last night.
Police are currently scouring the area...
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A lorry load of loo seats was stolen the same day. The police have nothing to go on.

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OFFS.jpg

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free wife.jpg

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Reminds me of my local middle Eastern café putting a blackboard up outside which read GENUINE ARAB COUSIN :lol:

 

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I've got some racing geese for sale. Let me know if you want a quick gander.

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56 minutes ago, bagerap said:

I've got some racing geese for sale. Let me know if you want a quick gander.

I'll check it out like an EAGLE eye HAWK

If it's nice, I'll be RAVEN about it. I'm just  BATS about them.

I might have to DUCK if it flies overhead though..

The price would have to be fair to you however, inasmuch as I would not want to be ROBIN you. Just as I would not want it to be overpriced, as I am not some PIGEON waiting to be plucked like some CHICKEN.

 

 

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20 hours ago, bagerap said:

I've got some racing geese for sale. Let me know if you want a quick gander.

You can keep them upstairs. Or downstairs. But no way are they going anywhere near my lady's chamber.

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that would make 8.jpg

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magnificent 7.jpg

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On 8/10/2020 at 2:10 AM, bagerap said:

I've just told my suitcases that there's no chance of us going on holiday this year.

 

Any tips on how to deal with emotional baggage?

All luggage is close to half price in debenhams , you could always trade it in LOL

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On 9/5/2020 at 12:02 PM, 1949threepence said:

free wife.jpg

 

joke.jpg

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F577BCBB-01AD-47B4-86C7-2710F8F4E97A.thumb.jpeg.4f9f9321d3d9c5af0b8241bd0b160fae.jpeg

😶

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12 hours ago, 1949threepence said:

magnificent 7.jpg

Snow White and the 6 Dwarves. Dopey's been arrested.

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14 hours ago, Peckris 2 said:

Snow White and the 6 Dwarves. Dopey's been arrested.

Snow White and the 6 Dwarfs would still be one too many. Sneezy need to be self isolating.

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