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Madness

Stuff to Make Us Laugh

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I'm a mac user, so I've never needed this product, but I think it might be time to buy Norton Antivirus.

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A bloke purchased a world map. He gave his wife a dart and said to her "Throw this and wherever it lands, I'm taking you for a holiday".

They spent three weeks behind the fridge

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On 3/9/2020 at 10:33 PM, Sword said:

181293923_1-Copy.jpg.923573a03140881ec03285629d9d2733.jpg

Sorry I'm rather slow tonight - what kind of pie is that? I can only get "square root of minus one two cubed sigma'!

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17 minutes ago, Peckris 2 said:

Sorry I'm rather slow tonight - what kind of pie is that? I can only get "square root of minus one two cubed sigma'!

It's one of those in-jokes that someone with A level Maths might find funny.

Square root of -1 is given the symbol i
(If square root of -1 = i, then i2 = -1. When you square a positive number like +3, you get +9. When you square a negative number like -3, you also get a positive number 9. Hence, it appears to be impossible to have i2 = -1. Hence i is called an imaginary number.) 

23 = 2x2x2 = 8 which sounds like ate.

The symbol Sigma in Maths means the SUM of

The pi symbol is well-known.

Hence "I ate some pie"

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38 minutes ago, Peckris 2 said:

Sorry I'm rather slow tonight - what kind of pie is that? I can only get "square root of minus one two cubed sigma'!

Glad I'm not the only one. Try looking half a dozen posts up the page

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My eldest daughter was asked by her teacher, 'If the plural of hippopotamus is hippopotami. What is the plural of whataclotamus?' To which she immediately replied 'It's a whataclotareyou'. Result - 15 minutes extra work. Most unfair given the mental flexibility shown.

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27 minutes ago, Rob said:

My eldest daughter was asked by her teacher, 'If the plural of hippopotamus is hippopotami. What is the plural of whataclotamus?' To which she immediately replied 'It's a whataclotareyou'. Result - 15 minutes extra work. Most unfair given the mental flexibility shown.

Did that really happen? 😀

Hardly fair to get annoyed when a joke backfires!

Edited by Sword

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1 hour ago, Sword said:

Did that really happen? 😀

Hardly fair to get annoyed when a joke backfires!

Yep.

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good moaning.jpg

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BREAKING: The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

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On 11/27/2019 at 7:48 PM, Diaconis said:

Pure, non-PC, brilliance from the Python Gang. The tap-dancing bit in the middle just kills me every time.

 

They can keep their darn corona virus .

Everything else they exported was quite useful though

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1 hour ago, 1949threepence said:

BREAKING: The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

I was quite looking forward to seeing The Who - then along came that darn virus CANCELLED

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1 hour ago, 1949threepence said:

good moaning.jpg

How many toilet rolls can u use in a week , how stupid can some people be

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I bought Norton Antivirus, because of what the bloke in the shop said, so I'm ok now.

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I bought dettol its cheaper

Edited by copper123
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It'll be £25 a bottle by the end of the week...

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2 hours ago, copper123 said:

I was quite looking forward to seeing The Who - then along came that darn virus CANCELLED

True story:

The Who were suing their producer Shel Talmy. In court the judge said "WHO - You mean the World Health Organization?" The barrister for the defendant replied "No Your Honour, The Who are a popular beat combo."

At this point, the band realised they were going to lose.

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Some football fans want the premier league canceled this year due to the virus

Most live in manchester and london

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1 hour ago, blakeyboy said:

I bought Norton Antivirus, because of what the bloke in the shop said, so I'm ok now.

Job's a good' un 

norton.jpg

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Superb!!!

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