Jump to content
British Coin Forum - Predecimal.com

50 Years of RotographicCoinpublications.com A Rotographic Imprint. Price guide reference book publishers since 1959. Lots of books on coins, banknotes and medals. Please visit and like Coin Publications on Facebook for offers and updates.

Coin Publications on Facebook

   Rotographic    

The current range of books. Click the image above to see them on Amazon (printed and Kindle format). More info on coinpublications.com

predecimal.comPredecimal.com. One of the most popular websites on British pre-decimal coins, with hundreds of coins for sale, advice for beginners and interesting information.

Madness

What's Your Job in Real Life?

Recommended Posts

I told the auction house that I was a bona fide coin dealer, but they wanted to see proof.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm a bona fide barnacle clinging to the crusty hull of a welfare society, taking a free ride but with no control.  

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I worked for a dairy for a while, delivering cream to housewives' back doors.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to be a werewolf but I'm alright nooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to nick staircases, but I took steps not to get caught......

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, blakeyboy said:

I used to nick staircases, but I took steps not to get caught......

Better than climbing the corporate ladder.  

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

i’m applying for the government Thrill-Seekers Allowance-

a bit like the Job Seeker’s Allowance, but they push you out of the plane halfway through the interview.

Not to be confused with the New Seekers Allowance, where you get the money if you teach the world to sing….

  • Like 2
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was caught out when the Tories combined the Job Seeker’s Allowance with the New Seekers Allowance - I ended up having to beg, steal and borrow...

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh now that's quality 'on the hoof 'comedy..I spend months writing my shit and you trump it in under an hour....!!!

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My Aunt Marge has just returned to hospital..

I can't believe she's not be(u)tter.

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wanted to sell computer parts, but then I lost my drive.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, Peckris 2 said:

I used to be a werewolf but I'm alright nooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww

I used to work at a soft drinks factory but got the sack because I couldn't concentrate and wasn't cordial to others. Then I tried being a velcro salesman but couldn't stick it. 

  • Like 2
  • Haha 1
  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 11/10/2018 at 5:54 PM, Madness said:

I'm a bona fide barnacle clinging to the crusty hull of a welfare society, taking a free ride but with no control.  

By the way, this really is my job.  It wasn't supposed to be a joke.  I really am a parasite living on welfare and my wife's income.  

Edited by Madness

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to be a Travel agent but I got the sack - I took too many holidays.

Before that I was a computer consultant - but they stopped talking to me.

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was a doctor but I lost my patients.

 

I went for a job at the circus as the Human Projectile, but I wasn't the right calibre....

 

I eventually went mad, and ended up in hospital because I thought I was a gun.

I discharged myself.

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I once worked in admin but had a nervous breakdown. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Madness said:

By the way, this really is my job.  It wasn't supposed to be a joke.  I really am a parasite living on welfare and my wife's income.  

 

"I once worked in admin but had a nervous breakdown. "

 

 

Been there.   You earned a rest, you paid your taxes , so why worry?

Comedy and music were my crutches.

Now you should do the little personal projects you've been putting off for decades.

`You could dress in drag, and earn money singing in campsites to keep the midges and mosquitos away.

 

Get ready............

You could call yourself   'Citronella Fitzgerald'.....

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Got a job at a winery and was very unfairly passed over for promotion - probably just sour grapes on my part. Then worked for a brewery where they also ignored me, which made me really bitter. Finally worked for a dairy where I did get promotion. Well the cream always rises to the top. Still a bread and butter job, but I milked them for all the money I could get. That was in 'Uddersfield by the way.

Edited by 1949threepence
  • Like 1
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh Quality.

We should all start writing for Tim Vine.....

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, Unwilling Numismatist said:

I wanted to be a porn star.

Every time I show up people say "what a cock"....

 

 

I wanted to be a porn star too,

Except I couldn't rise to the occasion....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Bronze & Copper Collector said:

I wanted to be a porn star too,

Except I couldn't rise to the occasion....

But at least your acting wouldn't be stiff, even if the overall performance was a bit limp. So I doubt they'd be asking you to come again. 

 

 

 

 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've decided to become a grave digger.  That way, when I die there will be someone to bury me.  

Edited by Madness

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, 1949threepence said:

But at least your acting wouldn't be stiff, even if the overall performance was a bit limp. So I doubt they'd be asking you to come again. 

 

 

 

 

Excellent. .

I have truly received my comeuppance......

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Madness said:

I've decided to become a grave digger.  That way, when I die there will be someone to bury me.  

Or at least you could fill in for someone...

 

 

I asked my mate   "Do you dig graves?"

And he said  "They're alright, I suppose..."

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×